To be perfectly honest (and why be any other way?) I am SICK TO DEATH OF YOGA! I really didn't see that coming, but then again I've never attempted to do that much yoga. The purpose of the challenge was to get me to rediscover my love for yoga, but after a week it became a chore. I wanted to do something else...anything else! I would have gladly run wind sprints, and I hate running. I longed for the elliptical machine or anything that didn't involve quiet. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to do yoga and another exercise, so I kept plugging along miserable. I tried meditation (which I usually also love) and I just couldn't get into it. I don't want to finish this challenge and never want to do yoga again, so I'm throwing in the towel. I did 11 days.
PS: I did get my butt off the ground in lifted lotus. SO THERE!
And now onto other stuff. I'm doing a photo challenge with Jen. I'm a bit behind at the moment. I'm taking pictures, I just haven't had a second to post them yet. You can find a page dedicated to the photo challenge to the right ---->
Monday, September 16, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
Yoga Challenge Days 2-6
I'm still trucking! Jen told me that September is National Yoga Month which I didn't know, but I thought it was kind of funny since I just so happen to be doing my challenge now. I'm also doing the 30 day photo challenge, but I'm only 2 days in so far. I don't know where or if I'll post those pictures yet.
On to yoga!
Thursday, August 29
Pilates (My Yoga Online)
Duration: 15 mins
Level: beginner
I am not a fan of Pilates mainly because it's all about core strength, and I don't have much! This was a fast paced class that stuck with the basics (read: sit-ups). I got off work late, and I didn't really have a lot of time to commit to a session. My favorite part of this video was the part about imprinting the spine to the floor. For someone with back problems that move is everything. I may try Pilates again in the future, but eh.
--------------------------------
Friday, August 30
Long Hold Yoga (my imagination)
Duration: 15 mins
Level: somewhere between relaxing and ouch
I had heard of Long Hold Yoga aka getting in a pose and staying there for a long time. I wanted to try it so I just turned on my DirecTV to the Zen music channel and used the stopwatch feature on my phone. A few of the positions felt fab (seated forward fold) while others felt...less so (plank). Overall I really liked this, and I will probably do it again sometime when I don't have a bunch of time.
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Saturday, August 31
Long Hold Yoga (on my couch)
Duration: 1 hour 30 mins
Level: what is less than beginner?
Saturday was kinda rough so I did a Savasana pose for 90 minutes. Savasana means dead body, and I was dead asleep. That counts, right?
-------------------------------
Sunday, September 1
Yoga class at the gym with Jen
Duration: 1 hour
Level: Intermediate
So the gym has a rotating instructor schedule on Sundays. This week's instructor was different from last week's. I liked the other lady better, but whatev. I tried a pose I had never done before called the Hindi. Newsflash: It gives you an atomic wedgie.
Jen and I decided that this gym is the only one where your resting yoga position is a downward facing dog. I've taken many in the past when the class rests in mountain pose. If you are on the floor it makes sense to rest in lotus or table. Doing a downward dog for 36 out of 60 minutes puts a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Especially if your shoulders were used to lift heavy desks the day before. Just me? Ok, fine.
------------------------------
Monday, September 2
Hatha yoga (My Yoga Online)
Duration: 24 minutes
Level: Moderate
I really enjoyed this video. I will definitely be coming back to it. There were lots of standing forward folds. One of my favorite things was a pose called Sunbird bend that I had never done before. I liked it because I was instantly good at it. Hey, take your victories where you can get them.
See you later!
On to yoga!
Thursday, August 29
Pilates (My Yoga Online)
Duration: 15 mins
Level: beginner
I am not a fan of Pilates mainly because it's all about core strength, and I don't have much! This was a fast paced class that stuck with the basics (read: sit-ups). I got off work late, and I didn't really have a lot of time to commit to a session. My favorite part of this video was the part about imprinting the spine to the floor. For someone with back problems that move is everything. I may try Pilates again in the future, but eh.
--------------------------------
Friday, August 30
Long Hold Yoga (my imagination)
Duration: 15 mins
Level: somewhere between relaxing and ouch
I had heard of Long Hold Yoga aka getting in a pose and staying there for a long time. I wanted to try it so I just turned on my DirecTV to the Zen music channel and used the stopwatch feature on my phone. A few of the positions felt fab (seated forward fold) while others felt...less so (plank). Overall I really liked this, and I will probably do it again sometime when I don't have a bunch of time.
-------------------------------
Saturday, August 31
Long Hold Yoga (on my couch)
Duration: 1 hour 30 mins
Level: what is less than beginner?
Saturday was kinda rough so I did a Savasana pose for 90 minutes. Savasana means dead body, and I was dead asleep. That counts, right?
-------------------------------
Sunday, September 1
Yoga class at the gym with Jen
Duration: 1 hour
Level: Intermediate
So the gym has a rotating instructor schedule on Sundays. This week's instructor was different from last week's. I liked the other lady better, but whatev. I tried a pose I had never done before called the Hindi. Newsflash: It gives you an atomic wedgie.
Jen and I decided that this gym is the only one where your resting yoga position is a downward facing dog. I've taken many in the past when the class rests in mountain pose. If you are on the floor it makes sense to rest in lotus or table. Doing a downward dog for 36 out of 60 minutes puts a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Especially if your shoulders were used to lift heavy desks the day before. Just me? Ok, fine.
------------------------------
Monday, September 2
Hatha yoga (My Yoga Online)
Duration: 24 minutes
Level: Moderate
I really enjoyed this video. I will definitely be coming back to it. There were lots of standing forward folds. One of my favorite things was a pose called Sunbird bend that I had never done before. I liked it because I was instantly good at it. Hey, take your victories where you can get them.
See you later!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Daily Yoga Challenge - Days 0-1
Day 0
Technically this isn't a day in the challenge since I made up the challenge on 8/28, and I took this class on 8/25. I'm not including it. However, I did notice a few notes I wanted to make about the experience.
Sunday, August 25
Took a class at the gym with Jen
Duration: 1 hour
Level: Intermediate
It was hard getting back into yoga after spending so much time away. It had probably been 4+ years since I had taken a class. I found myself sweating a lot (like more than when I take a spin class!), and afterwards I felt my muscles were very loose. I joked with Jen that I was undulating rather than walking to the car.
Move I loved: Pigeon
It always feels amazing to me to stretch my hips.
Bonus move I loved: Bridge
I was able to hold this for a long time with no discomfort. It felt really fabulous on my lower back, but the next day my butt was paying the price!
Move I need to work on: Lunges
I really need to strengthen my butt. I consider myself to have pretty strong legs, but a non-existent derriere.
Move I am excited to work on: overall endurance
Random observation: How does one wash a yoga mat? They perform all manners of sweaty aerobics in this studio. Hmmm...
-------------------------------------------------------
Day 1 Wednesday, August 28
Intro to Ashtanga Yoga by Kino MacGregor (MyYogaOnline)
Duration: 28 minutes
Level: Beginner
This was very very basic. She explains yoga in a way I like by talking about each word or movement and what it means. When you get right down to the poses though, they are very beginner. The video ended with a 5 minute meditation so it was really only 23 minutes long.
Move I loved: The OK sign used during meditation or while in the cross legged position. I had no idea that it meant unification of the individual soul with the divine soul. It makes sense, but I have never heard that before. Yoga isn't just for health. It is also bringing me closer to God.
Move I need to work on: Chandrasana
I've been doing this move wrong all this time, and I had no idea. It is like the 2nd half of a push-up. Plank is the first half of a push-up where your arms are fully extended. Chandrasana is where your arms are bent at a 90 degree angle, but your stomach and knees do not touch the floor. Oops. I was just kinda laying on the floor.
Move I am excited to work on: Lifting off the ground during lotus. The instructor Kino said it took her 3 months to get her butt off the ground in this position. I want to do it in one month!
Random observation: The ceiling fan in my living room hangs down really low. That is problematic if I want to keep my hands in tact.
Technically this isn't a day in the challenge since I made up the challenge on 8/28, and I took this class on 8/25. I'm not including it. However, I did notice a few notes I wanted to make about the experience.
Sunday, August 25
Took a class at the gym with Jen
Duration: 1 hour
Level: Intermediate
It was hard getting back into yoga after spending so much time away. It had probably been 4+ years since I had taken a class. I found myself sweating a lot (like more than when I take a spin class!), and afterwards I felt my muscles were very loose. I joked with Jen that I was undulating rather than walking to the car.
Move I loved: Pigeon
It always feels amazing to me to stretch my hips.
Bonus move I loved: Bridge
I was able to hold this for a long time with no discomfort. It felt really fabulous on my lower back, but the next day my butt was paying the price!
Move I need to work on: Lunges
I really need to strengthen my butt. I consider myself to have pretty strong legs, but a non-existent derriere.
Move I am excited to work on: overall endurance
Random observation: How does one wash a yoga mat? They perform all manners of sweaty aerobics in this studio. Hmmm...
-------------------------------------------------------
Day 1 Wednesday, August 28
Intro to Ashtanga Yoga by Kino MacGregor (MyYogaOnline)
Duration: 28 minutes
Level: Beginner
This was very very basic. She explains yoga in a way I like by talking about each word or movement and what it means. When you get right down to the poses though, they are very beginner. The video ended with a 5 minute meditation so it was really only 23 minutes long.
Move I loved: The OK sign used during meditation or while in the cross legged position. I had no idea that it meant unification of the individual soul with the divine soul. It makes sense, but I have never heard that before. Yoga isn't just for health. It is also bringing me closer to God.
Move I need to work on: Chandrasana
I've been doing this move wrong all this time, and I had no idea. It is like the 2nd half of a push-up. Plank is the first half of a push-up where your arms are fully extended. Chandrasana is where your arms are bent at a 90 degree angle, but your stomach and knees do not touch the floor. Oops. I was just kinda laying on the floor.
Move I am excited to work on: Lifting off the ground during lotus. The instructor Kino said it took her 3 months to get her butt off the ground in this position. I want to do it in one month!
Random observation: The ceiling fan in my living room hangs down really low. That is problematic if I want to keep my hands in tact.
Caution: Challenges ahead!
There are a lot of challenges coming up in the fall. I don't mean that my life is going to be difficult or anything like that (I hope it isn't!). I mean some of the games I've done in the past like DietBet are coming back.
DietBet, for those of you who don't know, is a pledge to lose 4% of your body weight in 4 weeks. Everyone throws in some money at the beginning, and the people who complete their bet split the pot at the end. The website has different games going on all the time, but I participated in a celebrity hosted game by Biggest Loser stars Hannah Curlee and Olivia Ward last March. I have met them, and they are just the most precious women EVER! I love their hearts. Anyway, I'm going to join their Diet Bet #3 which starts in 11 days.
Another challenge I'm interested in is a 30 day photo challenge. These have been around since the days of MySpace, but I've never done one. I recently bought a new cell phone, and it has a good camera, so I'd like to try it. I pinned one to Pintrest on the Best Friend Bucket List page, and I may try to convince Jen to participate with me. I just think it would be more fun to see how we each interpret the challenges (especially since we normally share a brain!).
Finally, I've been trying to incorporate more yoga (see previous post), and I decided to join My Yoga Online. It's only $9.95 for a monthly subscription. I figure I would spend more than that if I bought 1 DVD. They have all kinds of videos and routines along with message boards, etc. They accepted Paypal too, and that kinda sealed my decision. I'd like to try different kinds of classes and keep track of what I like and what I need to work harder on. I'd also like to do it every day for 30 days! I'm a little lame on follow-through, so we'll see if I keep at it!
DietBet, for those of you who don't know, is a pledge to lose 4% of your body weight in 4 weeks. Everyone throws in some money at the beginning, and the people who complete their bet split the pot at the end. The website has different games going on all the time, but I participated in a celebrity hosted game by Biggest Loser stars Hannah Curlee and Olivia Ward last March. I have met them, and they are just the most precious women EVER! I love their hearts. Anyway, I'm going to join their Diet Bet #3 which starts in 11 days.
Another challenge I'm interested in is a 30 day photo challenge. These have been around since the days of MySpace, but I've never done one. I recently bought a new cell phone, and it has a good camera, so I'd like to try it. I pinned one to Pintrest on the Best Friend Bucket List page, and I may try to convince Jen to participate with me. I just think it would be more fun to see how we each interpret the challenges (especially since we normally share a brain!).
Finally, I've been trying to incorporate more yoga (see previous post), and I decided to join My Yoga Online. It's only $9.95 for a monthly subscription. I figure I would spend more than that if I bought 1 DVD. They have all kinds of videos and routines along with message boards, etc. They accepted Paypal too, and that kinda sealed my decision. I'd like to try different kinds of classes and keep track of what I like and what I need to work harder on. I'd also like to do it every day for 30 days! I'm a little lame on follow-through, so we'll see if I keep at it!
Monday, August 26, 2013
31 Things To Do This Year
I recently had a birthday (hint: my new age is in the title of this post!), and while I don't believe in making New Year's Resolutions, I'm cool with birthday resolutions. Here are 31 things I'd like to do in the next 359 days in no particular order.
1. Go somewhere I've never been before.
2. Go to at least 1 UT football game this year. I need to celebrate the Butch Jones era!
3. Have my dishwasher installed. It's just sitting there not plugged in. NOT HELPFUL!
4. Sell my house.
5. Spend the holidays doing something I want to do. Usually I get roped into visiting other people's families. BTW, your crazy family is only endearing to you. To outsiders they are barely tolerable. Please don't inflict this on others on Christmas Day!
6. Get back into church.
7. Read more books and see more movies that are not necessarily "my style".
8. Go someplace where I need to dress fancy. I have so many clothes and heels that are neglected because of my mundane lifestyle!
9. Forgive and forget.
10. Get more pedicures, facials, massages, whatever. I used to treat myself all the time when I was young. Now I could actually use the maintenance.
11. Make my home a place that I enjoy being. Too often I use the kitchen table for a catch-all or pile things in the garage.
12. Enjoy time away from work without worrying about work.
13. Write. Write. Write. Revise. Then write some more.
14. Try Indian food.
15. Learn something. I love taking classes. I want to acquire new skills!
16. Explore my city like a tourist. I grew up here, but there are tons of things around Knoxville that I've never done or seen!
17. Downsize my stuff.
18. Rediscover my love for yoga. I took a class yesterday, and today I'm stiff. I used to take 2 or 3 classes a week and never felt anything but wonderfully rejuvenated. Gosh, I miss those days.
19. Have quarterly game nights with my friends.
20. Pay off some bills. I'm looking at you, Student Loan!
21. Get outside.
22. Do activities that make me uncomfortable. Not terrified (like skydiving) but out of my comfort zone (like indoor skydiving).
23. Figure out what I want out of life. I should know by now, but I don't yet. I'm pretending that's normal.
24. Cook more. I'll start on this just as soon as #3 is taken care of.
25. Remember to call DirecTV and have ESPNU added to my channels. (I need something I can mark off today. It makes me feel accomplished.)
26. Give my cat his hairball medicine on the regular so I'm not awakened by the sound of him hacking at 4:00 AM.
27. Learn to use a sewing machine once and for all! I'm really good at it for 5 minutes until I break the thread, need to change the bobbin, or otherwise destroy it.
28. Wear my jewelry. I have a ton of it. (It's all fake. Don't get excited, thieves.) I just never remember to put it on in the morning.
29. Never fight via text.
30. Be nicer to my mom. She's really good to me, and sometimes I take my frustrations out on her.
31. Blog more often!
1. Go somewhere I've never been before.
2. Go to at least 1 UT football game this year. I need to celebrate the Butch Jones era!
3. Have my dishwasher installed. It's just sitting there not plugged in. NOT HELPFUL!
4. Sell my house.
5. Spend the holidays doing something I want to do. Usually I get roped into visiting other people's families. BTW, your crazy family is only endearing to you. To outsiders they are barely tolerable. Please don't inflict this on others on Christmas Day!
6. Get back into church.
7. Read more books and see more movies that are not necessarily "my style".
8. Go someplace where I need to dress fancy. I have so many clothes and heels that are neglected because of my mundane lifestyle!
9. Forgive and forget.
10. Get more pedicures, facials, massages, whatever. I used to treat myself all the time when I was young. Now I could actually use the maintenance.
11. Make my home a place that I enjoy being. Too often I use the kitchen table for a catch-all or pile things in the garage.
12. Enjoy time away from work without worrying about work.
13. Write. Write. Write. Revise. Then write some more.
14. Try Indian food.
15. Learn something. I love taking classes. I want to acquire new skills!
16. Explore my city like a tourist. I grew up here, but there are tons of things around Knoxville that I've never done or seen!
17. Downsize my stuff.
18. Rediscover my love for yoga. I took a class yesterday, and today I'm stiff. I used to take 2 or 3 classes a week and never felt anything but wonderfully rejuvenated. Gosh, I miss those days.
19. Have quarterly game nights with my friends.
20. Pay off some bills. I'm looking at you, Student Loan!
21. Get outside.
22. Do activities that make me uncomfortable. Not terrified (like skydiving) but out of my comfort zone (like indoor skydiving).
23. Figure out what I want out of life. I should know by now, but I don't yet. I'm pretending that's normal.
24. Cook more. I'll start on this just as soon as #3 is taken care of.
25. Remember to call DirecTV and have ESPNU added to my channels. (I need something I can mark off today. It makes me feel accomplished.)
26. Give my cat his hairball medicine on the regular so I'm not awakened by the sound of him hacking at 4:00 AM.
27. Learn to use a sewing machine once and for all! I'm really good at it for 5 minutes until I break the thread, need to change the bobbin, or otherwise destroy it.
28. Wear my jewelry. I have a ton of it. (It's all fake. Don't get excited, thieves.) I just never remember to put it on in the morning.
29. Never fight via text.
30. Be nicer to my mom. She's really good to me, and sometimes I take my frustrations out on her.
31. Blog more often!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Five things to love about August
August is by no-means my favorite month, (Hello, October? I love you.) but it is pretty great. Have doubts? Dig this:
1. Your summer tan has kicked in. Usually by August I have a gorgeous glow that has been earned both from working and playing outdoors. This year it is not quite fully developed, but I still have another month.
2. There are no national holidays. I love holidays, but in the retail (or resale) business they are pretty much consuming. August is great because you can celebrate the smaller things that may have been overlooked in a more jam-packed month. Tennessee's tax free weekend is intended for back to school, but I see it as a version of summertime Christmas except I only buy presents for myself. It is practically my duty to buy clothes, shoes, and office supplies that I don't need! Also, my birthday is in August which is great because hardly anyone has plans otherwise. What is there to do in this heat anyway?
3. Fall is coming. It seems wrong to look ahead when I'm all about celebrating the present, but sometimes I can't help it. You can feel it on the breeze. The mornings and evenings are cooler. The mosquitoes have all died from heat stroke. Kids are back in school. In June and July it's easy to take it for granted, but by August you know the summertime is coming to an end.
4. Football is here. Preseason games, high school games, and finally on the last day of the month, University of Tennessee games. I love football. Why? People can sit for weeks and analyze what will happen. They can use past stats and prior meetings, but in the end it all comes down to heart and talent. You never know what is going to happen in football, and sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes that's a very bad thing.
5. It is the month of possibilities. You could make straight As this year and keep your locker organized. Your team could go undefeated. You could start your Christmas shopping early. You could start your diet early so you'll have earned a "cheat day" by Thanksgiving. Maybe you'll become a better person. Maybe you'll try harder at work. Summer is ending and it's time to get down to business. Maybe this will turn out to be the best year ever. You still have time!
1. Your summer tan has kicked in. Usually by August I have a gorgeous glow that has been earned both from working and playing outdoors. This year it is not quite fully developed, but I still have another month.
2. There are no national holidays. I love holidays, but in the retail (or resale) business they are pretty much consuming. August is great because you can celebrate the smaller things that may have been overlooked in a more jam-packed month. Tennessee's tax free weekend is intended for back to school, but I see it as a version of summertime Christmas except I only buy presents for myself. It is practically my duty to buy clothes, shoes, and office supplies that I don't need! Also, my birthday is in August which is great because hardly anyone has plans otherwise. What is there to do in this heat anyway?
3. Fall is coming. It seems wrong to look ahead when I'm all about celebrating the present, but sometimes I can't help it. You can feel it on the breeze. The mornings and evenings are cooler. The mosquitoes have all died from heat stroke. Kids are back in school. In June and July it's easy to take it for granted, but by August you know the summertime is coming to an end.
4. Football is here. Preseason games, high school games, and finally on the last day of the month, University of Tennessee games. I love football. Why? People can sit for weeks and analyze what will happen. They can use past stats and prior meetings, but in the end it all comes down to heart and talent. You never know what is going to happen in football, and sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes that's a very bad thing.
5. It is the month of possibilities. You could make straight As this year and keep your locker organized. Your team could go undefeated. You could start your Christmas shopping early. You could start your diet early so you'll have earned a "cheat day" by Thanksgiving. Maybe you'll become a better person. Maybe you'll try harder at work. Summer is ending and it's time to get down to business. Maybe this will turn out to be the best year ever. You still have time!
Friday, July 19, 2013
A few words about customer service...
Even when you own the company, sometimes you have to be on the front line dealing with the public. Seeing as I am not a people person, this has never been one of my favorite parts of gainful employment. I'd love to have a job *cough*WRITER*cough* where I don't have to see the majority of bargain hunting tourists on their way to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. For now, however, I suffer in silence. One thing I do love is lists, so... let's make a list of customers I love to hate!
1. The oversharer: This person has absolutely no problem telling you all about their son who is in jail for hitting his pregnant girlfriend, their need for adult diapers, and everything their doctor learned from their recent blood test. If you are lucky, they'll skip the backstory (which can take FOR-EV-ER) and just jump right in and assume you know them and everyone they know.
(There are a few customers that I have a rapport with. I actually enjoy their stories and want to know about their family. The oversharer is more than likely someone I've never met.)
2. The undersharer: This person doesn't talk at all. Ever. You can ask them if they are ready to check out because they are standing an ambivalent distance from the cash register, but don't expect a response. You can tell them "Thanks! Have a nice day!" but they won't say it back to you. Because they don't care if you have a nice day. You are just the hired help. Either that or they are a deaf mute.
3. The licker: Don't you ever lick your fingers when you are counting out money to me! Crazy sycophant! (BTW, I do actually know what sycophant means, and it is not used correctly here. It's an in-joke, grammar Nazi!)
4. The person who puts change on the counter even though I am holding out my hand: Pretty self-explanatory. I'm literally holding out my hand to accept your change. Why would you bypass my hand to put it on the counter just to make me pick it up again? WHY?!
5. The person who doesn't know when to stay home: If you are sick, stay home. If you are too lazy to put on clothes and decide to just throw on unlaced work boots under your nightgown, stay home. If you haven't bathed in 3 days and smell like hot, wet garbage, please for the love of God, stay home!
6. The insulter: "This thrift store smells like someone's grandma's garage." Guess what! WE SELL USED SHIZ! This ain't Bloomingdales, lady. Insulting my business, our prices, the things we sell, or even the weather is going to piss me off (even if I secretly agree with you). Keep it to yourself, A-Hole.
VIDEO: SNL - The A-Holes
7. The "helpful" one: "This one is $.99. It should come to $1.08 after tax. I'll give you a five, and you give me back 3.92." Hey, helpy helper. I've got this. Thanks, but I can add and subtract all by myself!
8. The preoccupied mother: No, I will not watch your children. No, I will not let you know your baby just picked up a thumb tack and put it in it's mouth. No, I will not think it's cute when you smile and tell me that your ankle biter just broke something but your husband only gave you $10 to spend for the week, and you can't afford to buy it. I don't know you. I don't know your child. When you take it in public, put it in a stroller or on a leash!
9. The curious cat: For some reason, I have more of this type of customer than all the others combined. They stand in front of the bathroom and ask if we have a bathroom. They ask if we have boy's clothes in a size 8 with Transformers on the shirts. They ask if I know what this random kitchen gadget is for. They ask if I know anything about a piece of furniture. I know it was donated. That's about it. Use your eyeballs and/or your imagination.
10. The permission seeker: "I'm just going to look around. Is that ok?" No. We force people to buy things with their eyes shut. "Can I use this public bathroom?" It's actually an empty elevator shaft, so aren't you glad you asked first?
And just so I don't sound like an awful tyrant, let's list 5 customers I didn't think I'd enjoy but I do
1. The hipster: As people they are super annoying. As thrift store customers, they appreciate the cheap and eclectic.
2. Brides: There is nothing better than a crafty bride when you work at a thrift store. Everything has possibilities. They can look it up on Pintrest and make something magical. Plus they have big budgets.
3. Children buying books: Enough said. I see some of my childhood self in you, tiny readers.
4. Lonely old ladies: Seeing as I plan on becoming a lonely, old, spinster woman, I have a soft spot for these ladies. They just want fabric for their sewing machines or some powder for their feet. The best things in life are simple pleasures.
5. Nope, I can only think of 4. I am an awful tyrant.
PS: I love the majority of my customers. I am really lucky to do what I do. There is just that 1% that drives me insane!
1. The oversharer: This person has absolutely no problem telling you all about their son who is in jail for hitting his pregnant girlfriend, their need for adult diapers, and everything their doctor learned from their recent blood test. If you are lucky, they'll skip the backstory (which can take FOR-EV-ER) and just jump right in and assume you know them and everyone they know.
(There are a few customers that I have a rapport with. I actually enjoy their stories and want to know about their family. The oversharer is more than likely someone I've never met.)
2. The undersharer: This person doesn't talk at all. Ever. You can ask them if they are ready to check out because they are standing an ambivalent distance from the cash register, but don't expect a response. You can tell them "Thanks! Have a nice day!" but they won't say it back to you. Because they don't care if you have a nice day. You are just the hired help. Either that or they are a deaf mute.
3. The licker: Don't you ever lick your fingers when you are counting out money to me! Crazy sycophant! (BTW, I do actually know what sycophant means, and it is not used correctly here. It's an in-joke, grammar Nazi!)
4. The person who puts change on the counter even though I am holding out my hand: Pretty self-explanatory. I'm literally holding out my hand to accept your change. Why would you bypass my hand to put it on the counter just to make me pick it up again? WHY?!
5. The person who doesn't know when to stay home: If you are sick, stay home. If you are too lazy to put on clothes and decide to just throw on unlaced work boots under your nightgown, stay home. If you haven't bathed in 3 days and smell like hot, wet garbage, please for the love of God, stay home!
6. The insulter: "This thrift store smells like someone's grandma's garage." Guess what! WE SELL USED SHIZ! This ain't Bloomingdales, lady. Insulting my business, our prices, the things we sell, or even the weather is going to piss me off (even if I secretly agree with you). Keep it to yourself, A-Hole.
VIDEO: SNL - The A-Holes
7. The "helpful" one: "This one is $.99. It should come to $1.08 after tax. I'll give you a five, and you give me back 3.92." Hey, helpy helper. I've got this. Thanks, but I can add and subtract all by myself!
8. The preoccupied mother: No, I will not watch your children. No, I will not let you know your baby just picked up a thumb tack and put it in it's mouth. No, I will not think it's cute when you smile and tell me that your ankle biter just broke something but your husband only gave you $10 to spend for the week, and you can't afford to buy it. I don't know you. I don't know your child. When you take it in public, put it in a stroller or on a leash!
9. The curious cat: For some reason, I have more of this type of customer than all the others combined. They stand in front of the bathroom and ask if we have a bathroom. They ask if we have boy's clothes in a size 8 with Transformers on the shirts. They ask if I know what this random kitchen gadget is for. They ask if I know anything about a piece of furniture. I know it was donated. That's about it. Use your eyeballs and/or your imagination.
10. The permission seeker: "I'm just going to look around. Is that ok?" No. We force people to buy things with their eyes shut. "Can I use this public bathroom?" It's actually an empty elevator shaft, so aren't you glad you asked first?
And just so I don't sound like an awful tyrant, let's list 5 customers I didn't think I'd enjoy but I do
1. The hipster: As people they are super annoying. As thrift store customers, they appreciate the cheap and eclectic.
2. Brides: There is nothing better than a crafty bride when you work at a thrift store. Everything has possibilities. They can look it up on Pintrest and make something magical. Plus they have big budgets.
3. Children buying books: Enough said. I see some of my childhood self in you, tiny readers.
4. Lonely old ladies: Seeing as I plan on becoming a lonely, old, spinster woman, I have a soft spot for these ladies. They just want fabric for their sewing machines or some powder for their feet. The best things in life are simple pleasures.
5. Nope, I can only think of 4. I am an awful tyrant.
PS: I love the majority of my customers. I am really lucky to do what I do. There is just that 1% that drives me insane!
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