Oral hygiene is important. That's why it isn't good that I grind my teeth when I'm frustrated. It also isn't good when I have headaches and dizzy spells from clenching my jaw. But some days (yesterday), I have to clench in order to not attack stupid people. It's a full-time job, and I already have about 3 of those.
So in honor of my teeth, I'm going to list 32 things that make me annoyed/angry in the hopes that they will reside here rather than in my mouth.
1. People who try to take advantage of me. I'm pretty generous. Therefore, if you try to take advantage of me, chances are you are a sub-par human being.
2. Humming and/or whistling. It grates on my nerves. I will cut you.
3. People who insult something because they want it. At first I thought this was an occupational hazard, but the more I think about it the more I realize it happens in all aspects of life. In terms of my job, the best example I can think of is: We had just purchased a chain from Lowes to lock up a bicycle that was for sale. Twenty minutes after locking up the bicycle, it sold (see also: examples of my luck). The customer loaded the bicycle and drove away. The very next customer noticed the chain puddled around the pole and asked "how much do you want for that old, rusty chain out there?" It was literally less than one hour old. It was shiny as heck and had no rust whatsoever. But if he made it seem worthless, he might be able to score it for a bargain. This doesn't work with me. What I wanted to say was "if it's worthless, why do you want it? I wouldn't want to insult your wallet by making you pay for such a hunk of junk! I'll just keep it rather than pass the burden of owning such a heap of trash." Don't pull my pigtails if you like me. Don't insult my stuff if you want to buy it. Everything has worth, and everything has flaws. Pointing them out will not make you a hero. It will just make you an asshole.
4. People who play the victim.
5. People who lick their fingers to count money or turn the page of a magazine.
6. Liars and thieves.
7. Running out of Coke Zero.
8. Baby talk in any form - even to a baby.
9. When my cat licks my leg to get my attention.
10. Having cat hair all over everything.
11. People who compliment my eyes (thank you!) but then call them blue (wha...? My eyes are green. They are so green that they sometimes appear yellow. Are you just complimenting that I have two? Maybe you should focus on your own eyes and get them checked. I know a really cute optometrist.)
12. Getting a run or pick in my tights.
13. People who hate something just because it's popular.
14. Hormones. The problem is not that I have some, but they literally make me angry, and I can't help it.
15. Needing to stop what I'm doing to go pee.
16. Spoilers.
17. When someone is purposefully vague to make you question them further. I don’t enjoy the sport of fishing, and neither do I enjoy you fishing for someone to gossip to.
18. Feeling helpless.
19. Not knowing how to do something. This is my biggie. I really, really, really hate not knowing how to do it. This is different from feeling helpless. Sometimes when you are helpless, there isn't anything to be done. When there is a solution but I don't have it, it drives me crazy!
20. Underwear that rolls down or rides up.
21. Telemarketers. If you call me on our business phone, you will get an airhorn in the ear, and that's no joke.
22. Mosquitoes.
23. Picking on or belittling someone I love.
24. Drama.
25. When I'm out buying paint, painters tape, drop cloths, and rollers and the cashier asks me "are you going to do some painting?" It happens regardless of what I'm buying. I could be buying a book on ducks, a bag of mini Snickers, and a wall clock, and the cashier would ask me "are you doing an experiment to see what time of day ducks most like to eat Snickers?". Salespeople are always up in my business.
26. When someone asks me a question and then cuts off my answer. People do this ALL. THE. TIME. to me when they are asking directions. If you knew, why did you ask? I’ll will send your butt to Nebo Mountain, tourist!
27. When people don't watch their kids. I'm sure you think them jumping on my couch is cute, but I think they are brats and you should be sterilized.
28. Friends you can never rely on.
29. Humidity.
30. Text forwards.
31. Painful pimples. Damn hormones again!
32. Naturally skinny people. ‘Nuff said.
For someone with my anger issues, I thought this list would be easier to compile. Don’t worry, I could have 32 different ones by tomorrow.
