The Fear

I used to live my life in a... we'll say fearless way (for lack of a better word). Young people are accused of thinking they are invincible, and for me that was true. Two things happened to change me: 1) I matured and stopped making idiotic life choices and 2) I lost someone very close to me in an accident. It is lucky (if you could ever call someone you love dying lucky) that the accident happened AFTER I had matured. Otherwise it might have pushed me further into avoiding reality by employing some BS theory that you only live once. YOLO, as it has been coined, is the bread and butter of today's youth. They use it as an excuse to act stupid and bratty, get their way, or justify their lack of responsibility. It has become the battle cry of a generation. If a generation too self-absorbed to get off their iPhones needs a battle cry.

Saturday Night Live spoofed the YOLO craze with a Lonely Island music video featuring Adam Levine and Kendrick Lamar. Their message was if you only live once you should be uber careful. The song is great. It features examples of how to be watchful from the true "there's no such thing as too much Purell" to the hilariously ridiculous "two words about furniture - killing machines." My take on YOLO is somewhere in between the two worlds. If you are only meant to live once, make it meaningful. That doesn't mean do whatever you want or nothing you want. Everything good is bad for you. Just don't go over the deep end. (Hello, I'm addicted to Aspartame, deal with it.)

We are going to pretend Zac Efron was interrupted while tattooing Yolonda, the name of his dying grandmother because aside from this ill-fated choice of body art, I think he's very dreamy.

What it all boils down to is fear. You can either laugh in the face of fear by saying (and meaning) that you only live once and to heck with everyone else but yourself. Or you can acknowledge the fear and try to shelter yourself from it. I am the latter. I have lived dangerously in the past, so now I am aware of every single risk. What if, like a cat, you only have 9 lives and I used 8 of mine before I turned 18? Which brings me to this week's fear. I didn't even know I had it until it was too late. Sometimes things sneak up on you like that.

This is a 26 ft Uhaul truck.

I can drive pretty well. I grew up in the country. There is no public transportation here. If you want to get somewhere you drive. You could walk, but in most cases you'd have to pack a meal or two and a blanket for nap time. I have driven many vehicles in many different weather conditions. I do not like to drive on the interstate. I try to avoid it, but if it isn't avoidable I suck it up and do it. I have been in a few accidents over the years both as a passenger and a driver. None were my fault. Technically one was, but I blame it on that the road was covered in ice. Anyway...
When my work started renting Uhaul trucks, I had no idea I'd have to go pick one up. Not to mention that I'd have to drive the biggest one (and the biggest truck I've ever driven). Across town. By myself. With no practice. Now some people may say I'm overreacting, but I have a respect for human life, so I'll tell you that this supposed road trip was routed to be on the DEADLIEST HIGHWAY EVER! So deadly in fact that its nickname is I'll-kill-ya Highway (actual name Alcoa). If that ain't fear, I don't know what is.

It wasn't actually that bad, which is the tricky part about fear. The anticipation is almost always worse. I prayed the whole time. Sometimes it was a normal prayer "please Lord, let me not kill that car full of people next to me. God, please don't let that truck pull out in front of me." Most of the time, however, it was incoherant ramblings "help me and be with me" over and over and over again. One terrific surprise was that I only had to drive a 17 ft truck instead of the bohemeth 26 ft one. The 9 feet probably makes a world of difference.

The tiny by comparison 17 ft truck.

I realized something during my drive. God doesn't want us to live in fear. He wants us to be confident and at peace. He wants us to live. Not because we ONLY live once, but because we GET to live once. Life is a gift. And thankfully I didn't cause any returns with my big ol' truck!